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Kōwhai Therapeutic Services

Breaking the Silence: How to Talk to Family and Friends About Your Mental Health Struggles


Mental health plays a crucial role in our daily lives and affects every aspect of our well-being, including our relationships, work, and physical health. Despite its importance, many people find it difficult to talk about their mental health struggles with family and friends. This can be due to the stigma surrounding mental illness, fear of judgment, or a lack of understanding. However, it's important to remember that reaching out for help and seeking support from loved ones is a sign of strength, not weakness. By speaking up and sharing your struggles, you open the door for others to do the same, and help break down the stigma surrounding mental health. Additionally, having a support network can greatly improve your mental health and lead to a more fulfilling life. Remember that you are not alone, and that many others are also struggling with similar issues.


Here are some tips to help you start the conversation:


Choose the right moment:

Choosing the right moment to discuss sensitive topics such as mental health is crucial. You want to make sure that both you and the person you're speaking with are in a comfortable, private, and uninterrupted setting. This could mean finding a quiet room or scheduling a one-on-one conversation with them. By selecting the right moment, you reduce the risk of distractions or interruptions that could hinder the conversation or cause you to feel anxious. Additionally, having a private and quiet moment will help create a more open and relaxed atmosphere, allowing for a more productive and meaningful discussion. By being mindful of the timing, you increase the chances of having a positive outcome and receiving the support you need.


Be honest and straightforward:

When having a conversation about mental health with family or friends, it's important to be honest and straightforward. This means letting them know exactly what you're feeling and what's going on. Being vulnerable and open up can be scary, but honesty is key in creating a supportive and understanding environment.



Start the conversation by expressing that you're struggling with your mental health and that you need their support. This lets them know that you trust them and value their help. Being clear about what you need from them will also help them understand how they can support you better.


By being honest and straightforward, you build a foundation of trust and respect with the person you're speaking with. This creates a safe space for you to share your struggles and receive the support you need. It also helps reduce any stigma or misunderstandings about mental health and shows that seeking support is a normal and necessary aspect of mental health.


Use "I" statements:

Using "I" statements when discussing mental health can be a helpful tool in effectively communicating your feelings and needs. "I" statements help to express your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences without blaming or accusing others. This approach can help you maintain a positive and non-confrontational tone, making it easier for the other person to understand and support you.


For example, instead of saying "You're not helping me with my mental health struggles," try saying "I'm feeling overwhelmed and I need someone to talk to." This shift in language allows you to express your needs and feelings in a more direct and assertive way, while also avoiding any potential misunderstandings or conflicts.


"I" statements also help you take ownership of your emotions and experiences, and empower you to make a positive change in your life. By using this technique, you can effectively communicate what you need from your family and friends and foster a supportive environment for your mental health journey.


Be prepared for different reactions:

It's essential to be prepared for a range of reactions when discussing mental health with family and friends. Some individuals may not understand what you're going through, and this can be frustrating or disappointing. On the other hand, some people may be very supportive and understanding.



It's important not to take other people's reactions personally, as everyone has their own experiences and perspectives. Some people may need time to process and understand what you're going through, and that's okay. It's also important to keep in mind that mental health can be a difficult subject for some individuals to grasp and that it may take time for them to understand and support you fully.


It's essential to approach the conversation with empathy and patience and to remember that your mental health journey is unique to you. If someone doesn't respond the way you hope, try not to let it discourage you and keep in mind that it takes time for people to understand and support you. Focus on finding the individuals in your life who do support you, and surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family. Remember that seeking support and improving your mental health is a journey and that it's okay to take it one step at a time.


Offer resources:

When discussing mental health with family and friends, it's important to offer resources that have been helpful for you. This shows that you are proactive in taking care of your mental health and that you value their support.


For example, you can offer hotlines that are available 24/7 for support and guidance. Support groups can also be a great resource for individuals who are going through similar experiences, as they provide a sense of community and validation. Therapy is also a great option for individuals who are struggling with mental health issues, as it provides a safe and confidential space to talk about your feelings and experiences.

Offering these resources can also empower the person you're speaking with to better understand and support you. By giving them the tools to help, you're taking a step towards building a stronger and more supportive relationship with them.


Remember that everyone's mental health journey is unique, and what works for you may not work for someone else. Be open to their individual needs and preferences, and offer support in whatever way they feel comfortable. Your ultimate goal is to help improve their mental well-being and provide the resources they need to heal and grow.


Take care of yourself:



Taking care of yourself is essential when it comes to discussing mental health with family and friends. The process can be emotional and draining, so it's important to prioritize self-care and do what you need to feel better. This could include activities such as exercise, mindfulness practices, spending time with loved ones, or simply taking a break when you need to.


Reaching out for help is a brave step, and it's essential to surround yourself with supportive people who understand and can help you through the journey of healing. This could include friends, family members, or a mental health professional. Mental health professionals, such as therapists, are trained to listen and provide support, guidance, and tools for healing. They can also provide a safe and confidential space for you to talk about your feelings and experiences.



If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's important to reach out for help. Whether that's through talking to a friend, family member, or mental health professional, seeking support is a strength, not a weakness. Remember that taking care of your mental health is a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. Surround yourself with people who support and understand you, and prioritize self-care to help you feel better and heal.

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