Have you ever found yourself saying or doing something in the heat of the moment that you later regret? This is often the result of what’s known as emotional hijacking, where our emotions take control and override our rational thinking. Understanding why this happens and learning techniques to manage it can help you regain control in these situations.
What is Emotional Hijacking?
Emotional hijacking occurs when the limbic system—the part of our brain responsible for emotions—takes over, bypassing our logical thinking. This response is rooted in our survival instincts, designed to protect us in moments of perceived danger. However, in modern life, it can lead to reactions that aren’t always appropriate for the situation, such as lashing out in anger or withdrawing completely.
How to Manage Emotional Hijacking:
Pause and Breathe: When you notice your emotions escalating, take a moment to pause. Deep breathing is particularly effective because it activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts the "fight or flight" response triggered by the sympathetic nervous system.
Nasal Breathing: Inhale slowly through your nose, allowing your belly to expand rather than your chest. Exhaling through the nose as well can further stimulate parasympathetic activation, helping you feel calmer.
Box Breathing: Inhale for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold again for four. This technique helps regulate your breathing and gives your mind time to regain balance.
Identify the Trigger: Reflect on what caused the emotional reaction. Was it something someone said? A particular situation or thought? Identifying your triggers is a key step in managing your responses.
Tips for Identifying Triggers:
Keep a Journal: Track your emotional responses and what led up to them. Patterns often emerge, helping you see what situations, people, or thoughts consistently trigger you.
Notice Physical Reactions: Before emotions fully take over, your body often gives signals—clenched fists, racing heart, tight jaw. Becoming aware of these early cues can help you catch the trigger before reacting.
Ask Reflective Questions: After a strong emotional reaction, ask yourself, “What was I really reacting to?” and “What belief or fear was behind that feeling?” This process can uncover deeper issues that fuel emotional hijacking.
What to Do with Triggers: Once you've identified your triggers, the next step is to address them:
Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts: If your trigger is based on a negative belief ("I'm not good enough," "People always take advantage of me"), work on reframing these thoughts. Cognitive-behavioural techniques can help shift your mindset.
Develop Coping Strategies: Knowing your triggers allows you to prepare. For example, if crowded environments make you anxious, practising grounding techniques before entering such spaces can help.
Communicate Boundaries: If certain behaviours from others are triggers, clearly communicate your boundaries to reduce their impact.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is about being fully present and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. By observing your emotions rather than being controlled by them, you create space to choose how to respond rather than reacting impulsively.
Grounding Techniques:
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Focus on your senses to bring yourself back to the present moment. Identify:
5 things you can see,
4 things you can touch,
3 things you can hear,
2 things you can smell,
1 thing you can taste.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and then slowly release different muscle groups, starting from your toes and working up to your head. This practice shifts your focus from the emotional storm to calming your body.
Seek Professional Help: If emotional hijacking is something you struggle with regularly, working with a counsellor can provide you with tailored strategies to manage your triggers and develop healthier responses. At KTS, our counsellors can work with you to build resilience and regain control over your emotional responses.
Comments