Five everyday narrative therapy exercises anyone can try at home

You don't need a therapist's office to start using narrative therapy techniques. These five practical exercises can help you begin shifting your perspective and rewriting unhelpful stories about yourself and your life.

Each exercise is designed to be simple enough for anyone to try, while still capturing the powerful essence of narrative therapy approaches.

1. The problem interview

This exercise helps you externalise a problem by treating it as something separate from yourself that you can examine and question.

Step-by-step instructions:

1. Choose a problem that's bothering you (anxiety, procrastination, anger, etc.)

2. Give this problem a name (e.g., "The Procrastination Monster" or "The Anxiety Cloud")

3. Set up two chairs facing each other

4. Sit in one chair and imagine the problem sitting in the other

5. Interview the problem by asking questions like:

   • When did you first enter my life?

   • What conditions help you grow stronger?

   • What are you trying to protect me from?

   • How do you convince me to listen to you?

   • When do you have less power over me?

6. Switch chairs and answer as if you are the problem

7. Switch back and reflect on what you learned

Example:

Sarah struggles with self-doubt that stops her from pursuing opportunities. She names it "The Confidence Thief" and asks: "Why do you show up right when I'm about to try something new?"

Answering as The Confidence Thief, she realizes: "I come in when you're stepping outside your comfort zone because I'm trying to protect you from potential rejection or failure."

This insight helps Sarah see her self-doubt as a misguided protection mechanism rather than a personal weakness.

How it helps:

This exercise creates psychological distance between you and your problems. By personifying the issue, you can:

• See it more objectively

• Recognise its patterns and triggers

• Understand its function in your life

• Develop compassion for yourself

• Find points where you can interrupt its influence

When to try it:

• When you feel overwhelmed by a persistent problem

• After a difficult experience where you're being hard on yourself

• When you notice yourself saying "I am" statements about problems (e.g., "I am so disorganised")

• When you're stuck in a pattern you want to change

2. Letter from your future self

This exercise helps you develop alternative storylines by connecting with your values and longer-term perspective.

Step-by-step instructions:

1. Find a quiet space and set aside 15-20 minutes

2. Choose a future point in time (6 months, 1 year, 5 years)

3. Imagine yourself at this future time, looking back on your current situation

4. Write a letter from this future self to your present self

5. Include in your letter:

   • How things worked out regarding your current concerns

   • What helped you move through difficult times

   • What you learned from your current challenges

   • Advice for your present self

   • Words of encouragement and compassion

6. Read the letter aloud when finished

Example:

Dear Present Me,

It's been two years since you were worried about changing careers. Looking back, while the transition was challenging, it wasn't nearly as scary as you imagined. Remember how you thought you'd never catch up with the new skills? You actually enjoyed the learning process more than you expected.

The most helpful thing you did was taking that online course while still working at your old job. Also, reaching out to people in the industry for coffee chats—something you almost didn't do because of fear—turned out to be crucial.

What you're learning right now is that your ability to adapt is much stronger than you give it credit for. Trust this more.

If I could tell you one thing: stop comparing your beginning to others' middle points. Everyone has a different path.

With love and confidence in you, Future Me

How it helps:

This exercise:

• Creates emotional distance from current problems

• Reminds you that difficult periods are temporary

• Connects you with your deeper wisdom and values

• Helps you see alternative outcomes to current concerns

• Activates your problem-solving abilities

When to try it:

• When facing a difficult decision

• During periods of transition or uncertainty

• When you feel stuck or trapped in your current situation

• When you need perspective on a problem that feels overwhelming

3. The exception journal

This simple journaling exercise helps you notice and expand "unique outcomes"—times when the problem isn't present or has less influence.

Step-by-step instructions:

1. Choose a problem pattern you want to change

2. Get a small notebook or create a note on your phone

3. Each day for at least a week, write down:

   • Moments when the problem was less intense or absent

   • What was different about these moments

   • What you did differently during these times

   • Who was present or not present

   • Any other factors that might have contributed

4. At the end of each entry, reflect: "What does this exception tell me about my capabilities?"

5. Review your journal weekly to look for patterns

Example:

Problem pattern: Feeling overwhelmed by work responsibilities

Monday: Felt calm for about an hour after lunch when I worked in the cafe downstairs instead of at my desk. The change of environment seemed to help. Had my noise-cancelling headphones on and set a timer for focused work. This shows I can manage my focus when I change my environment.

Tuesday: Overwhelmed most of the day except during the morning team meeting when I shared that I had too much on my plate. My manager offered to redistribute some tasks. This shows I can advocate for myself when needed.

Wednesday: Woke up feeling anxious but felt better after doing a 10-minute meditation. Managed to stay focused until about 2 PM. This shows I have tools to reset my mental state.

How it helps:

This exercise:

• Trains your attention to notice positive exceptions

• Provides evidence that problems aren't constant

• Helps identify your own solutions and strengths

• Makes visible the conditions that support your wellbeing

• Builds confidence in your ability to influence problems

When to try it:

• When you feel defined by a problem

• When you use words like "always" or "never" about your situation

• After starting a new habit you want to strengthen

• When you need evidence of your progress or capabilities

4. The outsider witness

This exercise helps you see yourself through others' eyes, offering alternative perspectives on your identity and capabilities.

Step-by-step instructions:

1. Think of a challenge you're facing or a negative story you tell about yourself

2. Choose 3-5 people who know you well (they don't need to be physically present)

3. For each person, write down:

   • How would they describe your strengths related to this situation?

   • What have they seen you overcome in the past?

   • What would they say they appreciate about you?

   • What advice might they offer about your current challenge?

4. Read through these perspectives and notice:

   • Common themes across different people

   • Qualities they see that you might overlook

   • How their view differs from your own narrative

Example:

Sarah's negative story: "I'm not good enough to apply for a promotion at work."

How her friend Mike would see it: "Sarah consistently delivers high-quality work and has great attention to detail. She's overcome imposter syndrome before when she took on the project management role. I appreciate how she always helps others on the team. I'd tell her to make a list of her accomplishments to remind herself of her capabilities."

How her sister would see it: "Sarah has always been resourceful and determined. She's overcome much bigger challenges like moving to a new city knowing no one. I appreciate her intelligence and how she can learn anything quickly. I'd tell her to remember how many skills she's already mastered that once seemed impossible."

How it helps:

This exercise:

• Provides alternative viewpoints to your self-critical narrative

• Reminds you of strengths you may take for granted

• Connects current challenges to past successes

• Offers practical suggestions you might not have considered

• Demonstrates how subjective our self-perceptions can be

When to try it:

• When facing self-doubt or harsh self-criticism

• Before important decisions or challenging situations

• When you feel isolated in your struggles

• When you need a confidence boost

• After experiencing rejection or failure

5. The story title technique

This quick exercise helps you recognise the power of framing and how changing your story's title can shift your entire perspective.

Step-by-step instructions:

1. Think about a current challenge or situation in your life

2. What would be the title if this situation were a book or film?

3. Write down this initial title

4. Now brainstorm at least 5 alternative titles that frame the situation differently

5. For each new title, write 2-3 sentences about how this framing changes the story

6. Choose the title that feels most empowering or helpful

7. Throughout the week, remind yourself of this new title when thinking about the situation

Example:

Current situation: Starting university as a mature student

Initial title: "Too Old, Too Late"

Alternative titles:

• "The Brave Second Chance" (This frames my decision as courageous rather than foolish. It acknowledges that everyone deserves second chances regardless of age.)

• "Wisdom Among Freshers" (This positions my life experience as an advantage rather than a liability. It suggests I bring valuable perspective to my studies.)

• "The Unconventional Path to Success" (This reframes my non-traditional timeline as unique rather than problematic. It suggests there are many valid ways to achieve goals.)

• "Finally Following My True Calling" (This celebrates the alignment with my values rather than focusing on timing. It suggests I'm now on the right path.)

• "The Adventure Begins at 40" (This frames my situation as an exciting beginning rather than a late start. It suggests life continues to offer new opportunities at any age.)

How it helps:

This exercise:

• Demonstrates how framing influences your emotional response

• Provides multiple perspectives on the same situation

• Shows that no single interpretation is the "truth"

• Gives you choice in how you narrate your experiences

• Creates psychological flexibility

When to try it:

• When you're stuck in a negative interpretation of events

• After experiencing disappointment or setbacks

• When preparing for a challenging conversation or situation

• When you notice yourself using absolute language ("always," "never")

• When you want to quickly shift your perspective

Using these exercises effectively

These narrative therapy exercises work best when you:

• Approach them with curiosity rather than judgment

• Practice them regularly, not just during crisis points

• Write down your responses rather than just thinking about them

• Return to exercises that resonate with you

• Share your insights with trusted others if possible

Remember that changing ingrained narratives takes time. The goal isn't to force positive thinking but to develop greater flexibility in how you interpret and respond to life's challenges.

By practicing these exercises, you're developing the skills to become the author of your own story rather than a character trapped by limiting narratives.

Get in touch with us if you’re looking for a fresh start. We’re here to help you rewrite your story.