Telling a new story: How to use narrative therapy for anxiety and stress

When anxiety takes hold, it often comes with its own powerful narrative—a story of threat, inadequacy, or impending disaster that feels utterly convincing. Narrative therapy offers a different approach to managing anxiety and stress by helping you recognise these stories for what they are: narratives that can be questioned, challenged, and rewritten.

Specific applications for anxiety management

Narrative therapy provides several practical tools for working with anxiety:

1. Mapping anxiety's influence

Start by tracking how anxiety affects different areas of your life. Ask yourself:

• How does anxiety influence my relationships?

• How does it affect my work or study?

• What impact does it have on my self-care and health?

• Which activities or opportunities am I avoiding because of anxiety?

This mapping process helps you see exactly where and how anxiety is limiting your life, making it a concrete challenge to address rather than a vague, overwhelming feeling.

2. Unpacking anxiety's tactics

Anxiety uses predictable strategies to maintain its grip:

• It selectively highlights potential dangers

• It minimises your coping abilities

• It demands certainty in an uncertain world

• It insists on perfection as the only acceptable standard

By naming these tactics, you can recognise them when they appear. "Ah, there's anxiety trying to make me focus on everything that could go wrong again."

3. Building a support team

Identify people who see you differently than anxiety portrays you. Who knows your strengths? Who has seen you overcome challenges? These people form your "team" who can help reinforce alternative stories about your capabilities.

4. Creating anxiety-free zones

Designate specific times or activities where you consciously set anxiety aside. This might be a daily walk, a coffee with friends, or an absorbing hobby. These anxiety-free zones prove that you can exist without anxiety's constant presence.

Externalising anxious thoughts

Externalisation is particularly powerful for anxiety, which often feels like an intrinsic part of who you are ("I'm just an anxious person"). By separating yourself from anxiety, you regain choice and agency.

Naming your anxiety

Many people find it helpful to give their anxiety a name or character. This might sound childish at first, but it creates a powerful psychological distinction between you and the anxious thoughts.

Some examples:

• "The Worry Monster" who catastrophises everything

• "The Inner Critic" who finds fault with everything you do

• "The Security Guard" who's overenthusiastic about keeping you safe

Once named, you can address anxiety directly: "I see you there, Worry Monster, coming up with worst-case scenarios again. I hear you, but I don't need to follow your advice right now."

The anxiety interview

Another externalising technique is to "interview" your anxiety as if it were a separate entity:

• What is anxiety trying to protect you from?

• When did it first come into your life?

• What conditions help it grow stronger?

• When does it tend to back off?

This questioning creates distance and perspective, helping you see anxiety as something you relate to rather than something you are.

Language shifts

Practice changing your language from internalising to externalising statements:

Instead of	Try saying
"I'm having a panic attack"	"Anxiety is trying to trigger my body's alarm system"
"I'm too anxious to speak up"	"Anxiety is trying to silence me right now"
"My anxiety is out of control"	"Anxiety is being particularly loud today"
"I can't handle social events"	"Anxiety has been convincing me to avoid social connection"

These shifts may seem subtle, but they create space between you and the anxious feelings, making them more manageable.

Creating alternative storylines about stressful situations

Anxiety tells a very specific story about stressful situations—usually one that minimises your capabilities and maximises potential threats. Narrative therapy helps you develop alternative interpretations that are equally valid but more empowering.

Multiple perspectives technique

Consider a stressful situation from different viewpoints:

• How would someone who knows you well see this situation?

• How might you view this same scenario five years from now?

• What would you say to a friend facing the same circumstances?

These questions reveal how stories about events are constructed rather than fixed truths.

Preferred future narratives

Instead of focusing on all the things that might go wrong (anxiety's specialty), narrative therapy invites you to imagine preferred futures:

• What would a workday look like if anxiety had less influence?

• How would you approach relationships differently?

• What new possibilities would open up?

By developing these alternative storylines, you create a counterweight to anxiety's limiting narrative.

Reclaiming your values

Anxiety often hijacks your attention, pulling it away from what truly matters to you. Ask yourself:

• What values does anxiety push aside?

• What kind of person do you want to be, regardless of anxious feelings?

• What small steps would align with these values?

When you reconnect with your values, anxiety loses some of its power to dictate your choices.

Practical steps to start rewriting your anxiety story

1. Notice the current narrative: What story does your anxiety tell? Write it down in specific terms.

2. Question this narrative: Is this the only way to see things? What evidence contradicts this story?

3. Find exceptions: When have you managed anxiety well, even briefly? What was different about those times?

4. Draft alternative stories: Write new narratives that acknowledge challenges but emphasise your strengths and resources.

5. Share your new story: Tell someone you trust about this alternative narrative to help make it more real and established.

Remember that rewriting anxiety narratives takes time. The old stories have been rehearsed many times and won't disappear overnight. But with practice, the new narratives will begin to feel more natural and convincing, giving you freedom to move beyond anxiety's limiting version of your life.

Feel like talking to a Narrative Therapist? Get in touch.