What is narrative therapy? A simple guide for beginners

Narrative therapy helps people separate themselves from their problems and rewrite their life stories in more positive ways. Instead of thinking "I am a problem," narrative therapy teaches you to think "I have a problem that I can solve." This simple shift in perspective can make dealing with life's challenges much easier.

The basics of narrative therapy

Narrative therapy was created in the 1980s by Michael White and David Epston. They believed that the stories we tell about ourselves shape our identity and our reality. When these stories become negative or unhelpful, they can trap us in patterns that don't serve us well.

The core idea is beautifully simple: you are not your problems. Your problems are separate from who you are as a person.

For example, instead of saying "I'm depressed," narrative therapy encourages you to say "I'm experiencing depression right now." This small change in language creates distance between you and the problem, giving you room to work on it.

The story-based approach to solving problems

We all tell stories about our lives—to others and to ourselves. These stories help us make sense of what happens to us. In narrative therapy, you learn to:

1. Tell your story: Share your experiences in your own words, focusing on what matters to you.

2. Separate yourself from problems: Learn to see issues as external challenges rather than part of your identity.

3. Deconstruct unhelpful stories: Break down big, overwhelming problems into smaller, more manageable parts.

4. Find unique outcomes: Discover times when the problem didn't affect you as much, offering clues for solutions.

5. Create new stories: Develop more helpful and empowering narratives about yourself and your life.

Let's look at how this might work in practice. Imagine someone who thinks, "I always mess up relationships because I'm unlovable." In narrative therapy, they would explore this story—where did it come from? Is it really true? They might find examples of loving relationships in their life that contradict this belief. With help, they could create a new story: "I've had some relationship challenges that I'm learning from, and I'm worthy of love."

How narrative therapy differs from other approaches

Many therapies focus on what's wrong with you or try to diagnose and "fix" problems within you. Narrative therapy takes a different path:

Narrative therapy vs. cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT):

• CBT focuses on changing thought patterns and behaviours directly

• Narrative therapy focuses on changing the stories that drive those thoughts and behaviours

Narrative therapy vs. psychoanalysis:

• Psychoanalysis digs deep into your past and unconscious mind

• Narrative therapy focuses more on your current story and how to rewrite it

Key differences:

1. Respect and non-blaming: Narrative therapy views you as the expert in your own life, not as someone with deficiencies that need fixing.

2. Externalisation: Problems exist outside of you, not within you.

3. Social context: Your struggles are understood within social and cultural contexts, not just as personal issues.

4. Collaboration: The therapist works alongside you as a partner, not as an authority figure telling you what to do.

5. Focus on strengths: Narrative therapy emphasises your skills and abilities rather than your weaknesses.

Who might benefit from narrative therapy?

Narrative therapy can help many different people, including:

• People feeling stuck in negative self-stories: If you constantly tell yourself "I'm a failure" or "I'll never be good enough," narrative therapy can help you challenge these stories.

• Those dealing with depression or anxiety: By separating yourself from these conditions, you gain more power to address them.

• Couples and families: Narrative therapy helps family members understand each other's stories and create new shared narratives.

• People from marginalised groups: Those affected by social pressures or discrimination can explore how external stories affect their self-image.

• Anyone facing major life transitions: Whether it's divorce, career change, or loss, narrative therapy can help you make sense of changes and write the next chapter.

The power of rewriting your story

Think about how we use phrases like "turning over a new leaf" or "starting a new chapter." These common expressions reflect our deep understanding that stories can change.

One of the most powerful aspects of narrative therapy is the realisation that you can be the author of your own life story. You can rewrite parts that aren't working for you. This doesn't mean ignoring difficult experiences, but rather finding new meaning in them.

For instance, someone who experienced bullying might shift from a story of "I was victimised and damaged" to "I survived difficult circumstances and developed resilience."

Is narrative therapy right for you?

Narrative therapy might be a good fit if you:

• Feel defined by your problems rather than your strengths

• Want to understand the broader context of your struggles

• Prefer a collaborative approach rather than being "diagnosed"

• Like the idea of storytelling and creative expression

• Want to focus on your values and what matters to you

If you're interested in trying narrative therapy, we have several therapists here at Kōwhai who use narrative approaches in their practice. During your first session, they'll likely invite you to share your story and begin exploring how certain narratives have shaped your life. Even if you’ve never tried counselling before, narrative therapy could be a gentle way to start exploring who you are and how you want to live your life.

Remember that you are not your problems—you're the author of your own story, and you have the power to write new chapters.

We’d love to help you on this journey. If you’re curious, get in touch.